Heard in the Hallways

 At school, I’m moderator of the monthly school newspaper and this was a production week. It was all a bit frenzied but the boys "done good" and have produced a very solid 24-page paper, whereas most of the others this year have been 16-page issues.

One of my favorite recurring parts of the paper is called Heard in the Hallways, a series of verbatim out-of-context quotes heard around school. It is hard to edit because of the older boys’ love of risqué jokes (and this is a conversative Catholic school) and, by design, the snippets come from a wide variety of sources with minimal context to understand what is being said.

 Anyway, here are some highlights from the March issue of Heard in the Hallways:

Basketball coach giving advice to players on defense: Someone needs to be touching him! He’s just standing there unmolested!

 

Teacher standing next to a doorway on a hot day: Wanna crack?

Students: Yeah!

Teacher: Alright, let’s crack.

 

Student interrupts teacher being filmed in class for a school video…

Teacher: THIS WAS MY SHOT! I WAS GOING TO BLOW UP! I WAS GOING TO BE A STAR!

 

Teacher: Yesterday I was playing trivia with some people that work here, and I corrected Mr. O---- on a geography question… and I don’t even teach that subject! Woo!

 

Teacher: Jack, you left your pants in my room!

 

Student: One arm’s moving while the other arm’s sitting there doing nothing.

 

Teacher in the lunchroom: Take the hoodies off! We’re in a restaurant!

 

Teacher: I have all these weird fantasies, but none of them seem to come true.

 

Statistics teacher: Does size matter? Not necessarily, but it does make you more confident as it increases.

Comments

  1. Tracy BroschMarch 23, 2024 at 5:14 AM

    What a clever section for your paper... I have to admit, a few of these made me chuckle. Seems like a fun atmosphere for work :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kate DMarch 26, 2024 at 9:03 AM

    Those are always such a fun part of papers; I'm so glad the boys get to experience putting these together.

    ReplyDelete

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